Interested in an update?

Ack! I don't know why you would be... ;)

I realised that just because my life is 'uneventful' it doesn't mean that the blog should be...? OR...? Who do I write for? Well...for myself is the answer to that and in 10 years when I look back through the blog and there's a gap I'll know that that's when I really wasn't up to much...! :) (which is sorta a lie, but I'll know)

Some people seem to disappear from the blogosphere when they're busy in real life - I'm the opposite! When stuff happens, I can't wait to blog about it! :D I want to 'share' or, more true, to keep the memory. :) 'Cause that's how I blog ...like I used to write in my diary when I was younger ...if 'nothing' happened, nothing was written. ...and with hindsight I think that it would have been nice to remember to write even when there wasn't any Happenings, at least once in a while! ;)

Sooo...I guess that's what I'm doing now. :D Letting you/me ;) know I'm still not up to much and yet...loads...

Update:

Soon-to-be-Ex is staying at a friend of his, 

realtor coming tomorrow, 

kids have had a tummy bug, 

I'm loving being back at uni and 

I'm totally addicted to twitter, 

tummy bug and stbEx out of house means missed Meeting and falling a bit behind at uni but I'll catch up. :) 

Realtor visit means tidytidytidying and sort-throw-organise! Brother-in-law sorted us out with a 'new' oven and sisters and I 'redecorated' the house at the weekend. Love my Family!

New surname has still not reveled itself to me...I'm sorta sure but yet not...

Update over and out! ;)

Love&Light,

Winter wonderland

Here are some photo's from the little outing we did yesterday. 

Beautiful day! :)

Finally we found a good enough hill for the kids to slide down on their...hm...is there even a word for it in English...?? Stjärtlapp...? *lol* Nope not even going to try to translate this one! ;) 

You sit on it, holding on (for dear life!) to handle between your legs and slide down the snow. Great fun for young and old! :D

Playground was fun too, even covered in snow.

Everything is beautified with the help of snow! :) :) :)

Our humble abode, looking a lot less run down, thanks to that white, cold, stuff.

Love&Light,

I speak not of unknown things

Outside my window... Clear summer sky and slowly approaching dusk.

Around the house... Dust, kiddie clothes and toys.

I'm wearing... White tank top and blue jeans.

I'm reading... The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame.

I'm hearing... Cartoon Network on the TV, kiddies snoring away on the sofa where they fell asleep. Yep! That's how my little ones get 'put to bed' the easiest. Easy, no-fuss, no-fighting falling asleep is a winner in this momma's book, whether it happens in their own beds or not! ;)

I'm learning... that waiting doesn't change things, changing changes things.

I'm wondering/thinking… where to find strength needed.

I'm hoping... that strength will be found were I always find it...in my Family. ♥

I'm grateful for... Family, kiddies and gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

- Melody Beattie

Low note... Well, that'd be last Sunday... :/  I would not be exaggerating if I said that on both a personal and marital level it was the lowest point ever.

High note... Kiddies being kiddies. ♥

Light...? Oh my word...!! I decided this to be a point in my list because...??? I obviously like kicking myself in the teeth and try my own perseverance 'cause... I do...? Why do I feel like I'm left without no other option than having to let go for me to be able to grow...? Why, why can't we grow together...? How do I let go...?

Love, Light & Sweet Dreams,

Spoilsport

Yeah, that's me. Any time we decide on doing some type of 'family fun' my image of 'happy times' is spoilt by everyone just being their usual selves... Before we even get going I get annoyed, feel like the fun is ruined but everyones lack of interest or appreciation, by the usual everyday conflicts (that I for some reason think will magically disappear this particular moment in time)...and then I end up being the spoilsport - grumpy, moody and irritable... :(

I know I overreact, how is everyone supposed to join in on the fun that I keep ruining with my unreasonable expectations of a smiling, happy family...??

Winner of worst Mum award 2005 - present,

Sisters

I am truly blessed when it comes to sisters! :) I have two amazing women who are related to me by blood and I've also been lucky enough to find another two awesome sisters to whom I'm connected to by heart and soul.

"She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child."
- Barbara Alpert

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers.  It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage.  Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." 
- Maya Angelou

"A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double."
- Toni Morrison

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life." 
- Isadora James

"Bless you, my darling, and remember

you are always in the heart - oh tucked so close

there is no chance of escape - of your sister." 

- Katherine Mansfield

Book Review - Strength in Weakness

The 'blurb':

Quaker women in the eighteenth century were carrying on the faith and activity of their seventeenth-century forebears, but as a group their lives and writings have been neglected in modern times by both Quaker and other historians. Gil Skidmore brings together a rich array of letters, spiritual autobiographies, journals, and memoirs to put the lives and concerns of these women into context.

I really liked it. Despite the heavyness of the 'old' English and the 'uneducated' way of writing it was a good read. The bible references are quite frequent so one needs not to be 'disturbed' by that fact if you are to be able to enjoy the book.

I found that the parts where education and raising children were brought up to be especially 'enlightened'. I have now unfortunately forgotten which one of the women made the most poignant points about these topics (towards the end of the book) but if it had been my own book (I borrowed it from the library) I would have underlined her words for sure, those and many of the other inspirational things that were brought to light by these courageous women.

It's not in on the 'top list' of my all time favourite books perhaps but it definitely gave me food for thought. I like that in any book! :) What the Quaker women (and men!) went through back then was, is, some truly amazing stuff...

* Parenting * Family * Children *

"Give the children love, more love and still more love – and the common sense will come by itself."
- Astrid Lindgren

"Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence."
- Plato

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
- Theodore Hesburgh

"What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all."
- Benjamin Spock

"There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation."
- Meryl Streep

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
- Desmond Tutu

"Family is not an important thing, it's everything."
- Michael J. Fox

"Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made."
- Bill Cosby

"We cannot fashion our children after our desires, we must have them and love them as God has given them to us."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Golden Rule Day

"Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion."
- Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

What have you been up to today? :) I've not been up to much. Only been interacting with the family and unfortunately not really showing of the most compassionate side of myself. :/ The little people, especially little miss is trowing herself head first into the most awesome power struggles with me/us/any grown up at the moment and she just. doesn't. give. in! 'Unfortunately' she gets the stubborn streak from both her mum and dad and it isn't easy peasy for her either, 'cause she soooo badly wants to get her way, with everything. She needs compassion, I know this! I've done the theory and passed :D but theory and practise isn't so 'easy' when it comes to ones own offspring. *blushes* It's a struggle when she pushes aaaall my buttons at once and nothing I try to do for her is good enough... *breathe!* Let's say it's a work in progress, ok? ;p

I have been torturing (?) my facebook pals with Golden Rule-quotes all day and perhaps/maybe/hopefully brought compassion into light for some...? :)

Hope you have a day full of compassion,
♥

"That which is despicable to you, do not do to your fellow, this is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary. Go and study it."
- Rabbi Hillel,
Talmud, Shabbat 31a

Decisions...

*sigh!*
Alrighty then, once again I'm having this getting-nowhere-conversation with myself.
It's decision time! Now. Preferably yesterday but now will work too...

Where to go? What to do? What are the consequences of doing or not doing? Going or not going? What are my options? How do those options work to my advantage or disadvantage? Do I have other options? Pros and cons them...!? Yes or No? Stay or Go? Maybe going is staying or perhaps staying means going...?? :/

What about maybe...? Or...I don't know...!?

This really, really, really is my least favourite thing about being a grown up. I hate it, I don't wanna!

Yet, I have to decide I have to choose and I know that whatever I choose it will be the right one...the certainty of that fact (and I believe it to be a fact!) doesn't make things any easier though...! Whyyyy is it sooo hard to just make a decision?! Just throw oneself into the 'unknown', people do it all the time about all kinds of stuff! Live a little? :P Nah... *sigh*

Things are hard and could so easily be easy. I keep hoping to see a light at the end of the tunnel, for hope to emerge once again yet there's nothing...but wait! Did I see a tiny ray of light?!? ...probably not...or...? No! Yes? ...and here we go again...

At the same time as I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders I feel silly 'cause what are my 'worries' in comparison to others? There is no right or wrong! There's just...being, doing, living. Hurts will heal, wounds will mend, the past will be behind us and the future is ahead. I know what is important and that won't go anywhere, whatever I decide...! So DO, LIVE, BE!
...but...what? where? how...? :\

Kid Rock - Amen

This song came up on my playlist today and although I don't really 'get' Kid Rock I love this song! I think (most of) the lyrics are fantastic (see below, I've put in bold my fav lines.) Enjoy.



Lyrics:
It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death

And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath

C'mon now amen, amen, amen

Habitual offenders, scumbag lawyers with agendas
I'll tell you sometimes people I don't know what's worse
Natural disasters or these wolves in sheep clothes pastors
Now God damn it I'm scared to send my children to church
And how can we seek salvation when our nations race relations
Got me feeling guilty of being white
But faith in human nature, our creator and our savior, I'm no saint
But I believe in what is right

C'mon now amen, amen
I said amen, amen

Stop pointing fingers and take some blame,
Pull your future away from the flame
Open up your mind and start to live
Stop short changing your neighbors
Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe
Give a little bit more than you got to give

Simplify, testify, identify, rectify

And if I get high stop being so uptight
It's only human nature and I am not a stranger
So baby won't you stay with me tonight

When a calls away
to break the sound
I'm faden down, I need someone
Oh to be someone
They just sinken down, and holden back
I hold the dawn and run
They don't save a child
Oh, to save a child

It's a matter of salvation from them patience up above,
So don't give up so damn easy on the one you love, one you love
Somewhere you got a brother, sister, friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you
You know there's someone out there who unconditionally, religiously, loves you
So just hold on 'cause you know it's true
And if you can take the pain
And you can withstand anything, and one day
Stand hand in hand with the truth

I said amen, I said amen
I said amen, I said amen,

Amen.

Leavin'...

(Set by gypsy_soul cropped by me)
:D The family's going away for a few weeks and I'm not sure if I'll get any leisure time ;) online :) during those weeks... I will be back, I hope you will too! :)

"The family is always the family but during vacations it is an extended family and that is exhausting." - Gertrude Stein
;P
With love,

In Sweden, the Men Can Have It All

I always find it interesting to read about Sweden and "Swedish phenomena" from other parts of the world. Here's an interesting article from the New York Times - In Sweden, the Men Can Have It All, about the Swedish model of parental leave and its benefits and possible disadvantages.

It is a subject of much debate here... How much should the government have to say about our parental leave...? What right have they got to meddle about the equality in our own homes...?? etc. and so on.

I can see both advantages and the hindrance that governmental meddling can have and I realise too that there isn't an easy 'fix' or answer for these kinds of things... Generally though, I feel that change isn't anything that can or should be forced upon people and that change, especially in terms of equality, in society should initially start from 'the top'. Changing the mindset/attitude about women's influence/place/value/etc. in board rooms and other places of power rather than how ordinary people on "grass root"-level decide to manage their lives in accordance to the narrow-mindedness of the people 'on top'...

We do our best with what we have been given and forcing equality in the home to change the attitudes 'above' is harsh and unfair, for the most part. Yes, there will be certain benefits from people having no choice but to stand up to old worldly traditions but... The fact that men, in 'men trades' generally have full time employment whilst women, in 'female trades', only have part time work or even just temporary employment... To force the man in this "stereotypical" couple to stay at home whilst the woman scrambles to get more hours of work or even work at all will not change the mentality in stiff all male board rooms! ...it'll only means an earlier start at nursery for the child, I feel 12 months is already too early, and parental days gone unused at this early, most essential time for both parents and child...

Well, I'm not going to delve any deeper, than I already have ;), into this specific subject. It's an interesting read and please feel free to give me tips of other articles you may find on "Swedish-ness"! :)

About raising children...

All My Babies Are Gone Now
By Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow, but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of the them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach, T. Berry Brazelton, Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education - all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations - what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the "Remember-When-Mom-Did" Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language -mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I include that here.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.