I speak not of unknown things.

Outside my window... Damp. Misty... Autumnal... :/

Around the house... the usual clean messiness. ;p Our laundry pile is the size of Mount Kilimanjaro but it'll be dealt with promptly. :)

I'm wearing... grey jeans with a blue shortsleeved top, no make up, bangs pinned back out of my face.

I'm reading... random bits and pieces, I'm almost done with Wind In The Willows. I'm reading a lunch room book at work... Not been grabbed by anything lately sooo I'm in a bit of a book limbo at present.

I'm hearing... the TV. Erin's watching Playhouse Disney.

I'm learning... that time flies and that change takes effort.

I'm wondering/thinking… why effort is hard to come by when it comes to certain people. And! Since the effort required is so hard, perhaps change isn't what that certain someone truly wants...

I'm hoping... my time off next week will give me some well needed energy! :)

I'm grateful for... having a very sweet and sympathetic boss who sorted my time off with very short notice and without me feeling like I was a bother. :)

Low note... My meltdown must be the low note of the whole summer... :\

High note... My 9 days off starting Monday that I've got to look forward to! :)

Light...? Aaah... *sigh* it feels like my one word is taunting me. I'm nowhere near any of the 'goals' I set up at the beginning of the year and to be honest it feels like I'm heading further into this sludgy darkess before this year is over... And yeeees...I know it'll all turn out right in the end... Just, right now things sorta sucks...

I speak not of unknown things

Outside my window... Clear summer sky and slowly approaching dusk.

Around the house... Dust, kiddie clothes and toys.

I'm wearing... White tank top and blue jeans.

I'm reading... The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame.

I'm hearing... Cartoon Network on the TV, kiddies snoring away on the sofa where they fell asleep. Yep! That's how my little ones get 'put to bed' the easiest. Easy, no-fuss, no-fighting falling asleep is a winner in this momma's book, whether it happens in their own beds or not! ;)

I'm learning... that waiting doesn't change things, changing changes things.

I'm wondering/thinking… where to find strength needed.

I'm hoping... that strength will be found were I always find it...in my Family. ♥

I'm grateful for... Family, kiddies and gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

- Melody Beattie

Low note... Well, that'd be last Sunday... :/  I would not be exaggerating if I said that on both a personal and marital level it was the lowest point ever.

High note... Kiddies being kiddies. ♥

Light...? Oh my word...!! I decided this to be a point in my list because...??? I obviously like kicking myself in the teeth and try my own perseverance 'cause... I do...? Why do I feel like I'm left without no other option than having to let go for me to be able to grow...? Why, why can't we grow together...? How do I let go...?

Love, Light & Sweet Dreams,

I speak not of unknown things.

Outside my window... darkness...it's late. During the day its the kind of sweet almost lime-green of early spring and baby leaves all around. :)

Around the house... So-so. :) Husband's been in charge of the house while I've been working and coming home late and it's not too bad actually. ;) Hoovering isn't his 'thing' (yet?) so I'll do that tomorrow when I'm off. :) :)

I'm wearing... pj's...should be in bed already! ;p

I'm reading... nothing at the mo!? :O

I'm hearing... commercials on the TV.

I'm learning... all the time. :)

I'm thinking… I'm too tired for this. ;)

I'm hoping... I'll ge a lie in tomorrow morning.

I'm grateful for... a lot of things lately. The small things in life mainly and that feels good.

Low note... Coming home late, past kiddies bedtime, three nights in a row. I miss, and therefore appreciate more, the 'chaos' of putting kiddies to bed.

High note... Seeing the joy and pride on little miss' face when she showed me the cupcakes she'd baked with her daddy last Saturday. That joy multiply by about a gazillion when I was allowed to taste one and (of course!) told her it was the best cupcake I'd ever had. :) :) :) It is the little things that count. :) I think we were both as thrilled as each other... ♥

Light...? Working on/with self-compassion ...I think that might be key... seems to be...'working'...(?)

Love&Light,

I speak not of unknown things.

Outside my window... Sunshine, beautiful, lovely, sweet spring sunshine! :)

Around the house... Most things are where they're supposed to be (little people are away for a few days), cats lazying about...smelling slightly of burnt toast - 'cause it burnt some earlier. ;p

I'm wearing... the 'usual' chillin'-at-home attire, grey sweats and nude longsleeved tee.

I'm reading... 'Women, Food and God' by Geneen Roth

I'm hearing... silence, a car driving past hour house...the cat snoring... :)

I'm learning... that only I can decide the rules in my life...then it is up to the rest to follow, or stay behind. I'm my own resposibility...

I'm wondering/thinking… if what I just wrote above makes sense. Is it true? Can I be 'the captain' of my life and just believe that I'll get what I need along the way...?

I'm hoping... that work will be good. That its a step ahead and not backwards...even if it does feel like a step back in time...

I'm grateful for... sisters! ♥

Low note... noticing me loosing myself in my body (again). This isn't where I want to be.

High note... blowing leaves in the garden yesterday 'til my arm went numb. :) I wish I could use it indoors too to tidy up! ;) Cora's Deep Thoughts post gave me, and others, food for thought. :) Very interesting and appreciated. :) :)

Light...? *after thinking long and hard* Ah, I do feel lighter after clearing the leaves of the lawn and finally putting away the pallet of pellets. *phew!* That's something isn't it? Baby steps...! ;p

I speak not of unknown things.

Outside my window... misty and milder and a very typical 'moody' April, some sun and a lot of rain.

Around the house... the usual 'organised chaos'...although it's about to tip the scale to chaos if I don't intervene soon.

I'm wearing... white tee with the words 'FEAR LESS HOPE MORE' on it, my grey sweats and powder pink sparkly nail polish on my toe nails. :)

I'm reading... Elizabeth Gilberts 'Committed' (in Swedish). Liking it. Definately food for thought.

I'm hearing... the hmmmmm of the computer and the low tinkering of the keyboard when I type. It's late and everyone, but me, are asleep.

I'm learning... how much I miss learning. I miss studying. I haven't been back to uni since I made my decision (not sure why I should, but perhaps I better since the official paper work isn't done yet). There's some dead time now before I can go back to work so right now I'm just sort of waiting...

I'm thinking... too much!

I'm hoping... this heavy 'tiredness' I'm feeling will go away soon.

I'm grateful for... all the awesome women I know who give me strength and share with me of their wisdom.

Low note... last night's chaos of putting kiddies to bed. :( Felt like the worst mom ever... sometimes I wonder if the permanent memory that my kids will have of me as they grow up is my constant (?) frown and/or me barking at them about everything (?)...??? :´(

High note... going to the library with kiddies today and sitting together reading about dinosaurs and monsters after dinner. :)

Light...? Oh yeah, THE WORD... :/ Feels like I should have picked 'chaos' instead...or possibly 'roller-coaster'...?

When I chose 'Light' the words that resonated with me about it was clear, not heavy, content, smooth, lighthearted and shine, none of which I'm feeling...quite the opposite in fact. I feel heavier both physically and emotionally, neither lighthearted or content, my head/heart/thoughts/feelings are eons from clear, smooth or shining...

*sigh*
Depressing I know! Sorry...it's just...yeah...me?