2013 in review

How many...
People did you kiss? 3.
Countries did you visit? 1. Spain - Gran Canaria and Maspalomas to be precise.
Places did you live? 1.
People did you date? A handful. :)
Books did you read? 2-3 books of my own choice...? Too few! Not much time for leisure reading whilst studying full time at Uni.
People were living with you? 2. Kiddos. :)
Animals were living with you? 0.

What was your...
Favorite movie? Not sure I've seen a movie this year...? 
Favorite concert? Rascal Flatts! :) 
Worst experience? Getting my heart broken, twice. By someone else at the beginning of the year and then by me late this year drawing a line and ending a special ...friendship. 
Hurts like hell.
Happiest moment? There's been plenty of them, not sure I can pick one. The Rascal Flatts concert was kinda cool even if I did go there alone... :]
Biggest change? Does the constant adjusting to me, myself and I count as a change...?
Biggest surprise? That if I'm brave I don't have to alone... 

Did you...
Break a bad habit? Nah. Unfortunately not. I might have started a few new ones though. ;)
Start a relationship? Possibly...
End a relationship? Yes.
Change jobs? No.
Change living situations? No.
Lose a loved one? Thankfully not.
Start a new hobby? No.
Have an addition to the family? My cousin had her forth child, a second beautiful boy. :)
Get married? No!
Get divorced? No.

So, what are the things you want to see happen in 2014? Are there things you want to change in your life? About yourself?

 I want to be braver, bolder, more scared and more excited ...more alive. I don't want to be safe and settled I want to feel and keep growing into me.

Happy New Year and Brightest Blessings to you and yours for 2014!

the Universe is unfolding as it should,

Alone - forever?

Do (some) people only get a certain amount of company...? And when its used up there is no more companionship for those people...?
And they will need to embrace solitude and find contentment in the company of their children, if they have any, and/or other family members...?

Impossible...!?

Lately I've been trying my best to settle, settle in me, settle in singledom, settle with Loneliness (dispite not (ever) being alone) ...trying to ground myself in me. Trying to listen inwards for answers for guidance, for direction... Doing my best to breathe.

All it has given me is the realisation that I. Don't. Want To. Loneliness sucks when it hasn't been chosen, loneliness and I will not be in good terms until that happen, until I choose it - and I don't or won't! Not now.

Also ...I've done a mindless, senseless, stupid, naïve and ridiculous thing. I've gotten myself tangled up in something so completely impossible. It kind of freaks me out ...about as much as I love it. I love how it fills me and lightens up my day.

But.
It.
Is.
Impossible.

Not even sure it's for real...

So what do I do?? Do I revel in the glory of it 'til I've ended up breaking my own heart? Or do I do the "sensible" thing and end "it" ...whatever this thing is...??
...not sure I can. I want it, this, him too much.

I do.

 



Beards

Shallow post begins

Besides loving words, books, reading and writing I love beards. Men, if you can grow one you should have one! ;) ...but puhleeeez keep it neat and tidy! I don't wanna see what you had for lunch thankyouverymuch. :P

What is it with beards then? It's hot - rough and soft and masculine and... yeah. :) Hot.

I do! ;D

End of shallow post.

Where to begin...

Where are my word, my passion for them? Is it my lack of writing that has snuffed the flame or is something else holding me back. I want to write, from the heart, be true, find answers to my ponderings as I write ...as it used to be...

Now I just feel ...lost. Bewildered in this ...lack of words.

Sure I can possibly babble on about mundane things but I don't want to. I want to be struck with inspiration, feel that urge to write, to share... I doesn't, by any means, mean that I would usually know what I'm going to say or share but it is a nudge telling me to just ...write. It'll be a moment i real life or passage read in book or some words or a conversation picked up online that just compels me to write...

And, it's not there.

.
.
.
.

I miss ...my Spirit...?