I have some time on my hands so I thought I'd pop in and write a few lines that might turn into more...
But! What to write about? My life feels so empty of Depth at the moment that I feel embarrassed to even have a blog which purpose is to share that which touches the core of me. Am I more than a shallow shell of a person...? :\ Bleh! This self-pity isn't a very interesting blog post - maybe that's what has kept me away...? The fact that the last few months I've felt mostly sorry for myself...??
Well, what's been going on then ...superficially speaking of course...?
I was in love, he was too. There was possibilities for a future there - though in hindsight it would've been a repetition of my past. He ended it claiming distance was too big of an issue... He contacted me again, saying he missed me (and the kids) but not managing to man up and say he'd made a mistake. I want a Man not an insecure Boy who manages to guilt-trip me into feeling like I was the one who ended it...
I thought (hoped?) that we might be able to be friends eventually but now I don't think that's in our future. He's too broken and I'm too ...good? I'm too bad at not realising when I should back off rather than try and "fix" someone and his "issues".
I need a Man without issues...!? ^^ Not sure that there are any of them about. :\ ...so I'll settle for "less issues"? Should I "settle"?? Perhaps I'm better off on my own...?
All these things buzz around in my head and at points driving me insane but I'm glad I chose Breathe to my my One Word... Sometimes that feels like the only thing I have to deal with all of the above ...to just breathe...
Love&Light,
