I am not a human being
trying to have a spiritual experience.
I am a spirit being
mastering the human experience.

Tuesday 31 January 2012

Jewel - What you are








I'm driving around town
Kinda bored with the windows rolled down
See a girl on the bus stop bench
Dressed to draw attention

Hoping everyone will stare
If she don't stand out she thinks she'll disappear
Wish I could hold her, tell her, show her
What she wants is already there

A star is a star
It doesn't have to try to shine
Water will fall
A bird just knows how to fly

You don't have to tell a flower how to bloom
Or light how to fill up a room
You already are what you are
And what you are is beautiful

Heard a story the other day
Took place at the local VA
A father talking to his dying son
This was his conversation

"It's not supposed to be like this
You can't go first I can't handle it"
The boy said "Dad now don't you cry,
Remember when I was a child what you used to tell me when I'd ask why?"

(You'd say) Gravity is gravity
It doesn't try to pull you down
Stone is stone
It can't help but hold its ground

The wind just blows, though you can't see
It's everywhere like I'll always be
You already are what you are
And what you are is strong enough

Look in the mirror
Now that's another story to tell
I give love to others
But I give myself hell

I'd have to tell myself
"In every seed there's a perfect plan"
Everything I hoped to be
I already am

A flower is a flower
It doesn't have to try to bloom
And light is light
Just knows how to fill a room

And dark is dark
So the stars have a place to shine
The tide goes out
So it can come back another time

Goodbye makes a hello so sweet
And love is love so it can teach us
We already are what we are
And what we are is beautiful

And strong enough
And good enough
And bright enough

Friday 27 January 2012

Against the Wind

The image below was shared on facebook by my cousin today and I love it! :)

Don't fill your hole with religion, stuff or people... Run! Run against the wind!! :)

Having a rough week,



Tuesday 24 January 2012

What's up?

Not-so-much...and lots! :) The way it usually is...

I feel lacking in inspiration (?), not just for blogging but for life in general. :/ I'm on the edge on finally getting this house sold...or, to be honest, into the process of being sold! :p I still have to pick a realtor! :\

In 34 days I can send in papers to the court to confirm that I want the divorce finalised (in Sweden there's mandatory 6 month waiting period because of the fact that we have young children) - it feels strange that that date is almost here already. I have not changed my mind...if anything I've become even more sure that it is time for us to part. But, I do feel somewhat...empty. Probably due to us still living together, having the house together... I need to move on yet - all things still needing done is resting on my shoulders. The emptiness is currently being filled with bread. :p

I want to change my last name too. I don't want to take my maiden name back, I'm not her anymore. I don't want to 'revert', I want progress. I want something new, a fresh start, a new beginning. But...what to choose?! Another family name?? ...or something completely new...? Argh! Me and decisions! :P

Being back at uni feels great! :) There's some 'hassle' about figuring out if the semester I've previously done can give me any credit towards this semester... and, if I can get/claim it does that effect my study grant and how? OR is it better to just do a complete do-over and count this semester as a repetition of the previous one...?? *sigh* I dunno, just putting one foot in-front of the other, as per usual, trying to hold on to Me and my faith that things always find a way to work themselves out.

Tired-

Monday 23 January 2012

Winter wonderland

Here are some photo's from the little outing we did yesterday. 
Beautiful day! :)



Finally we found a good enough hill for the kids to slide down on their...hm...is there even a word for it in English...?? Stjärtlapp...? *lol* Nope not even going to try to translate this one! ;) 

You sit on it, holding on (for dear life!) to handle between your legs and slide down the snow. Great fun for young and old! :D

Playground was fun too, even covered in snow.

Everything is beautified with the help of snow! :) :) :)
Our humble abode, looking a lot less run down, thanks to that white, cold, stuff.
Love&Light,

Saturday 21 January 2012

Snow!

Winter's finally, finally here! Just like I predicted...!?! :O I did...! ;)

A few weeks ago we, at work, were talking about the dismal winter we've had so far and whether we'd get any snow this winter or if we'd just skip right into spring. The weather has been very mild, the tiniest show of snow but mostly wet, damp and mild temperatures...

The last two winters here have been looong, hard and cold! ...so...the mildness of this winter has been a both a relief and a disappointment. White, frosty, winters are lovely! Mild, wet, grey winters are just...bleak.

Talking about the weather is a favourite lunch time topic at work ;p and I seemed like the only one sure that we'd get snow! ...for sure! :)

I'm not particularly good at predicting the weather (or anything else btw!) but I do get the odd 'hunch' now and again and I've been sure of the mildness of this winter since September, just like I was sure that we'd get snow before the end of the month, at Jan. 21st. Yup! I even came up with the date...spookily enough The Right date cause today. we. got. snow. l o t s. of. it!?! ;p


So, we've been busy building snowmen and shoveling snow. :) :) :) Great fun! ...oooh! And I did have a hunch about something snow/winter related on Jan. 26th too (I was going between those dates for the arrival of Snow) sooo we'll see what happens then! ;p

Weather-woman? ;)


"In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy."

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Community, Environment

Community.

* Compassion
* Solidarity
* Peace
* Equality

It's about being aware. To See people, whether close to you and your home or on the other side of the world and a stranger.
It's about responsibility - for home, family and the Earth... Doing your part of making a difference. It doesn't have to be something grand! Even a small act of goodness can make a world of difference - bigger isn't better.

The opposite of Community is Indifference.


Environment.

It's where we are, where we live and breathe and bring up the Future. There are no other options but take responsibility, show consideration.

The opposite of Environment is... The End!




"We do not own the world, and its riches are not ours to dispose of at will. Show a loving consideration for all creatures, and seek to maintain the beauty and variety of the world. Work to ensure that our increasing power over nature is used responsibly, with reverence for life. Rejoice in the splendour of God's continuing creation."

Peace

Peace.
 
* Tolerance
* Equality
* Solidarity
* Love
* Forgivness

The opposite of Peace is Hate, Darkness, Fear...



"A good end cannot sanctify evil means; nor must we ever do evil, that good may come of it... It is as great presumption to send our passions upon God's errands, as it is to palliate them with God's name... We are too ready to retaliate, rather than forgive, or gain by love and information. And yet we could hurt no man that we believe loves us. Let us then try what Love will do: for if men did once see we love them, we should soon find they would not harm us. Force may subdue, but Love gains: and he that forgives first, wins the laurel."
- William Penn, 1693 (24.03)


"...That way of peace is not to be found in any policy of 'unconditional surrender' by whomsoever demanded. It requires that men and nations should recognise their common brotherhood, using the weapons of integrity, reason, patience and love, never acquiescing in the ways of the oppressor, always ready to suffer with the oppressed. In every country there is a longing for freedom from domination and war which men are striving to express. Now is the time to issue an open invitation to co-operate in creative peacemaking, to declare our willingness to make sacrifices of national prestige, wealth and standards of living for the common good of men."


Equality, Honesty, Integrity

Equality.

* Inclusion rather than exclusion.
* Seeing 'that of God in everyone'.
* Solidarity

I wish I had more to say about this, but, it is such an obvious Truth to me that I'm stuggling to find the words to explain how and why I feel the way I do.

We're unique, individual, creatures with the same worth, value and rights as each other. Period.

The opposite of Equality is Discrimination.


Honesty and Integrity.

* Tell the truth.
* Be true to who you are.

The opposite of Honesty and Integrity is Deceit.


Simplicity

Soooo....here are my thoughts on each one the testimonies. Beginning with:

Simplicity.

* Moderation
* Finding balance, a healthy pace in life.
* Gratitude, for what you already have.
* Awareness of how my choices effect myself, other people and the Earth.

The opposite of Simplicity is Greed.



 
"Friends, whatever ye are addicted to, the tempter will come in that thing; and when he can trouble you, then he gets advantage over you, and then you are gone. Stand still in that which is pure, after ye see yourselves; and then mercy comes in. After thou seest thy thoughts, and the temptations, do not think, but submit; and then power comes. Stand still in that which shows and discovers; and then doth strength immediately come. And stand still in the Light, and submit to it, and the other will be hushed and gone; and then content comes."
-George Fox, 1652 (20.42)

Quaker Testimonies

Ah, those...! :)
...or perhaps your thinking which ones?!
'So, who are these Quakers anyway?' provide a good explaination to them here. :)

A while ago I suggested to Cora that she would post about her views on the Quaker testimonies. She and I have talked, a lot, about most things Quaker so I sorta know where she stands on things - I am (on most occasions) right there beside her. :) :) :)
But...her words are not mine and neither are her thoughts (I wish I was as that brilliant!) sooo I'm going to try (with references to the British Faith&Practice and 'So, who are these Quakers anyway?') to sort out the jumble of thoughts that are floating about in the Space that is my head. ;p

First things first, when it comes to the testimonies...at least as I have understood it - there are no set, set of testimonies! ;D They can differ some from Quaker to Quaker but also between countries and continents... In the Swedish Faith&Practice they're not at all as clearly 'stated' as they are in the British one, for instance.

I strongly believe in cause and effect - that what we say and/or do (or don't!) has a ripple effect that we can't even begin to imagine. This envelopes all things...from a 'small' thing - like smiling at a stranger to the bigger things like what kind of car we choose to (or not! ;)) to drive...

Good begets good. The not-so-good begets more not-so-good.

All things, everyone, would benefit from figuring this 'balance thing' out... and, in my opinion, the testimonies are a good Guide to getting there.

Love&Light,

Saturday 14 January 2012

Love? No Thanks!

Being well-aware of the fact that I might currently be inclined to some bitterness in matters of Love I'm still going to put this out there.

There. is. no. such. thing. as. Life-long. Love.

Yup, that's my claim! You cannot 'just' love someone for a lifetime...!

OK, OK, chill your beans! I'm not saying you're not going to stay with your Mr./Mrs. Right for the rest of your life! ;) I'm just saying that a life-long commitment has not got that much to do with Love.

I mean it! Love is (and should be!) the 'side-effect' of Respect, Understanding, Friendship, Kindness and Communication (- of which 3/4 should be Listening!). If Love comes First then you're probably going to experience some trouble either early on in the relationship or after 10 years of trying to figure out the balance of all that other (more important!) stuff, the giving/taking, lifting/leaning, talking/listening... and, you'll figure out that thing called Love isn't at all what it's made out to be... If your lucky you manage to sort things out, put them in order but it's quite likely that it's all too messed up, too much out of balance for you to balance the scale right...

Love doesn't make the world go round.
On the other hand...you might already have known this...?! :) I think I have too, but it's taken me 'til now to put it into context...

The only exeption to this 'rule' is the Love between a Parent and a Child. Those little people you just Love, Love and Love...with all your heart! In that instance the Respect, Understanding, Kindness and Compassionate Communication comes out of Love. With grown-ups it works the other way...!

A parent cannot (or, shouldn't) 'just' Love their grown-up child either. When children grow up you need to readjust the 'Love-setting' to 'less'...and you treat them like the grown-ups they are. :)

I've given up on Love. I have!
I don't want it anymore. I deserve better than that. 

I hope to find, to be deserving of, a life-long friend, a confidant, an equal, whom I can talk to and who will listen...  rather than the complicated mess that love brings. If love happens to happen, eventually, then alright... I realise I might not be immune to...the infatuation of love... but I don't wish, hope or pray for it, neither for me or for anyone else...
Except! When it comes to Self-Love! (but that's a different post! ;))

Friday 6 January 2012

Home again...

After spending the last 4 weeks (?!) at my mum's, me and the kiddies are Home again! :) It feels good to get to sleep in my own bed tonight... yet, I'm sick of this place...! There's not. one. single. chore. in this house that I haven't done...! From sheer stubborness I've refused to do certain things around the house, so that He would have something to do...  fill some sort of purpose.

The last, and only, thing I still had left to 'learn' how to do was to air/bleed the radiators (which I do know how to do, I've just not wanted to!) and...coming home today with radiators sounding like a babbling brook I had no choice. It f*kin' needed to get done! :[
So I did it.

And...now I feel bitter.
I know I should feel Grateful (and another day I might) for all the things I now know how to do, that I didn't previously know... Learning, growing, evolving and all that jazz but nah! Tonight I'm bitter and stuffing myself with bread...

Thursday 5 January 2012

Blog recap 2011

A look back on the blog year of 2011, here are the first blog posts of each month... To take you, and me, back through the year. :)

Psst..! the links open in a new window

January: A hesitant follower of the One Word. ;)

February: I heard and was compelled to share Brene Browns TEDtalk on vulnerability.

March: Finding inspirational words from the teacher of Alexander the Great.

April: Sharing some thoughts about compassion on the eve of Golden Rule Day.

May: Enjoyed being back at work, dispite the commute. :)

June: A lot of sharing goes on here on this blog, here's another one! :) An article well worth reading twice! :) God is not a Christian.

July: ...began with well-needed girliness² !

August: *sigh* Yeah... some days were frustration overload.

September: :) Finally time to go to my first Meeting!

October: Being a bit 'zen'... :)

November: ...began with some more sharing, this time a quote that really struck home...

December: I found myself a new 'man'! ♥  :D

:) This was fun! :D ...for me at least. ;) But I do hope you enjoyed it too.

Do you have any posts of mine that you in particular remember from last year...?? I'd love to hear what and why it stayed with you! :)

Love&Light,

Monday 2 January 2012

My One Word 2012

OK, so I've picked my One Word for 2012. :) ...or, to be perfectly honest, It picked Me! ;) I was pretty sure I was going to use Faith this year. Because that's what I hope to have, to hold on to, through the tough times I know I've got ahead of me. But... At Meeting yesterday I was struck by the word Heart - what I really need for 2012 is to have Heart. :) So, that's my word! :)




Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
- Confucius

Heart
n.

1. Anatomy
a. The chambered muscular organ in vertebrates that pumps blood received from the veins into the arteries, thereby maintaining the flow of blood through the entire circulatory system.
b. A similarly functioning structure in invertebrates.

2. The area that is the approximate location of the heart in the body; the breast.

3.
a. The vital center and source of one's being, emotions, and sensibilities.
b. The repository of one's deepest and sincerest feelings and beliefs: an appeal from the heart; a subject dear to her heart.
c. The seat of the intellect or imagination: the worst atrocities the human heart could devise.
4.
a. Emotional constitution, basic disposition, or character: a man after my own heart.
b. One's prevailing mood or current inclination: We were light of heart.

5.
a. Capacity for sympathy or generosity; compassion: a leader who seems to have no heart.
b. Love; affection: The child won my heart.

6.
a. Courage; resolution; fortitude: The soldiers lost heart and retreated.
b. The firmness of will or the callousness required to carry out an unpleasant task or responsibility: hadn't the heart to send them away without food.

7.
A person esteemed or admired as lovable, loyal, or courageous: a dear heart.

8.
  a. The central or innermost physical part of a place or region: the heart of the financial district.
b. The core of a plant, fruit, or vegetable: hearts of palm.

9.
The most important or essential part: get to the heart of the matter.

10.
A conventional two-lobed representation of the heart, usually colored red or pink.


Idioms:

at heart
In one's deepest feelings; fundamentally.

by heart
Learned by rote; memorized word for word.

do (one's) heart good
To lift one's spirits; make one happy.
 
from the bottom/depths of (one's) heart
With the deepest appreciation; most sincerely.

have (one's) heart in (one's) mouth
To be extremely frightened or anxious.

have (one's) heart in the right place
To be well-intentioned.
 
heart and soul
Completely; entirely.
 
in (one's) heart of hearts
In the seat of one's truest feelings.

lose (one's) heart to
To fall in love with.

near/close to (one's) heart
Loved by or important to one.

steal (someone's) heart
To win one's affection or love.

take to heart
To take seriously and be affected or troubled by: Don't take my criticism to heart.

to (one's) heart's content
To one's entire satisfaction, without limitation.
 
wear (one's) heart on (one's) sleeve
To show one's feelings clearly and openly by one's behavior.

with all (one's) heart
1. With great willingness or pleasure.
2. With the deepest feeling or devotion


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