Becoming Quaker?

Today after Meeting, at the home of two Friends, we introduced ourselves to the group and a woman who's been a Friend for a year said: ...I've been a Member for about a year but when people ask me how long I've been a Quaker I answer - All my life.

It gave me goose-bumps! :)

I couldn't just let it pass so later in the conversation turned I again to the woman and said to her how beautiful I had found her words to be... :) L.B. then said that it's not uncommon that feeling - that one doesn't become a Quaker, you are one.

More goose-bumps! :)

At this Meeting there were also two young children (not yet 2 and 3½ years old) present and it was sooo amazing to see how they too managed to be still and silent:ish ;) for the whole hour!? :) :) :) Amazing. :) Their presence added another...dimension to Meeting, to have the sound of little people there - who are truly in the Present in the Here and Now and therefore a fantastic help (at least to me) to do/be the same.

I still feel like I'm figuring out my 'way to worship', and feeling satisfied as long as I manage to turn of the every-day-life-chattering in my head. The whole 'listening within'-thing isn't really (but possibly?) happening just yet... Taking my time... :)

Other things/news Quaker...! :D I'm going to participate in Days for learning (is what I think it might be called in English) in November. Three(:ish) days of learning about Quaker faith and practice - I'm so excited! :) It's at a Quaker retreat up north, about a 6 hour drive (or for me ride!) away. We (L.B, A. and I) are heading there on Friday morning and we'll be back home again on Sunday evening... Very much looking forward to it! :)

Love&Light,

Always coping...

Is that a bad thing...? I think it is and it isn't... Just like with me being 'too kind'... It's a good thing...and it isn't...

I'm trying, I want to surrender...to trust that things are going just the way they're supposed to...just like I believe that they are...! (not sure if that made any sense to anyone else but me!)

What I mean is... I know things are going, happening, occuring for a reason, a purpose bigger than myself and they are not always (rarely?) about me but about being a part of this 'web of life' (sounds a bit cheesy but I can't find a better word right now) that we're all a part of. I believe in a sort of ripple effect...that every action has a reaction - cause and effect - falling, stumbling, hurting to learn, grow, evolve... know what I mean??

The Source and Aim for all of this is always Compassion! Never ever being about pointless torture to the amusement of... God(s) (or whatya'ma'callit) - even if I too admit to feeling unfairly stomped on at (current) times...

I know this, yet I struggle with trusting it.

I want to learn how to trust...

In the Light?


This was sooo not the post I had imagined writing...!

Gratitude...

This made me cry. This isn't just another day...

Breaking...

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."

- Ernest Hemingway

Hoping I am one of the 'many'...

Absent...

...in blog, mind and soul...

I'm fumbling in the darkness again, decisions needing to be made. Again. Loads of 'whatif's and no-one to give me answers...

I know, know, I know that I'll be alright, that things will fall into place, that there is a point and purpose for all of this and once I'm out on the other side I'll see things clearer.. But! It fecking SUCKS being stuck in this angry, angry, lonely place when all I want and wish for is to not be so angry...not feel so alone..

I try to hear, to feel, the answers inside - I know they're there but...I also know that there is not absolute Right or Wrong...things are what they are - it is how it is... Whatever I decide it'll be Right...we choose and decide to the best of our ability in the time and place that we're in at the particular time and place... When a decision has been made it is Right... Right for the journey we need to make...for what's ahead. And, it is that gut-feeling we have to follow...for us... 'cause we can only choose for ourselves - not for anyone else (except perhaps our children - who will hopefully know/learn we did the best we could with what we had at hand)...

Aha...!

I 'came up' with a 'new' motto/philosophy the other day and I've not been able to let it go. No matter which way I twist and turn it, it stays true...

Det är som det är, för att det är som det är.

Translated into English it goes something sorta like this;
It is what it is, because it is what it is...

Meaning...that the situation one is in is due to surrounding circumstances - the house is a mess, because I wasn't home to tidy or too busy or out having fun or not giving a damn or one is tired because one didn't get enough sleep or the kids are being a pain in the side because they aren't getting enough attention... etc. and so on.

It is what it is, because it is what it is.

...and for things/'it' to not be what 'it' is we need to change the other it's. Make sense??? Or...perhaps this is yet another one of my not-so-sensible ramblings?! ;)

In the Light (?),