Daring to see and feel...!

Finally, finally, finally I've gotten myself a laptop! It's on loan to me from my brother-in-law so that I can specify what I like/don't like about his one so that he'll be able to sort me out with just the right one for me! :) :) :)

...at the mo though I'm on my sisters computer... ;) Me and kiddies are house-sitting her home whilst she and her family are away. It's a winwin situation as it give me time to hang out with my Gothenburg friends I don't get to see too often. :)

Oh my word...how I have missed this! Having the time to blog about a topic that has been brewing within and not feeling stressed about having the time it'll take me to get it written. True bliss! :)

I wanna return to this me-letting-my-hear-lead-the-way-topic I've been touching but not really having time to write about.

Quite quickly after the long-awaited move to BlueHouse I was somewhat concerned about the skipping of my heart... It was nice to feel it but its long inactivity made me uncomfortable and sometimes the skipping, or unexpected rush, would cause me actual, physical, pain... Please be gentle was my quiet prayer. Go slow...! Take your time. Let me rest. Yet it headed none of my pleas and kept on its previous behaviour.

I was like a teenager again with rushing emotions, I was high and low and blushing and embarrased and angry...! I whinged and moaned about it to my awesome friends and at one point, texting with my most brilliant "sister" A. she sent me a message saying

"Yes hun, it's scary to be alive. But it's time now..."

and I was floored by how right she was...! I realised that the discomfort a skipping (alive!) heart gave me was in fact managable beacause of the joy and rush that a beating heart brings...!

I realised also that I am not a teenager again (which I for a moment feared I was turning into!)! I am in fact very grown up, in control of my Life, of my choices and I choose to Feel and I allow myself to See and believe myself worthy of good things and good things have been coming my way. :)

It's awesome... I feel...aligned (things make sense) like I've not felt before... Like my head and heart are catching up on what my Soul has been screaming for a long time...and I believe. It's so cool! :D

 In the Light,

Sisters

I am truly blessed when it comes to sisters! :) I have two amazing women who are related to me by blood and I've also been lucky enough to find another two awesome sisters to whom I'm connected to by heart and soul.

"She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child."
- Barbara Alpert

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers.  It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage.  Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." 
- Maya Angelou

"A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double."
- Toni Morrison

"A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life." 
- Isadora James

"Bless you, my darling, and remember

you are always in the heart - oh tucked so close

there is no chance of escape - of your sister." 

- Katherine Mansfield

Friendship quotes

"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."
- Elbert Hubbard

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."
- Buddha

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud".
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace."
- Kahlil Gibran

"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies."
- Aristotle

"If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue."
- Alice Duer Miller

"Friendship is a union of spirits, a marriage of hearts, and the bond thereto virtue."
- William Penn

"Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief."
Swedish proverb

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great."
- Mark Twain

Blessing of Solitude

from Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

May you recognize in your life
the presence, power, and light of your soul.
May you realize that you are never alone,
that your soul in its brightness and belonging
connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your own individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,
that you have a special destiny here,
that behind the facade of your life there is something
beautiful, good, and eternal happening.
May you learn to see yourself with the same
delight, pride and expectation
with which God sees you in every moment.
- John O'Donohue

I've had this "in my keeping" for a while...and I love it because it has the same ring to it as for example the word of Max Ehrmann or Marianne Williamson, and many others...

That I am, we are, able. We need to believe and not try SO hard to be whatever our vision of perfect may be. We are good enough just the way we are...

My soul gave me good counsel

An early start to the day so I'm taking some time to share more words with you. :) This time a quite lenghty poem (the one which gave its name to my blogger address... :) ) from "The Vision" by Kahlil Gibran.

Ah...! How I dream of having a long conversation with this awesome person! He's definitely at the very top of my "If you meet X amount of people, dead or alive, who would it be?"-list!! :D

For Gibran, no single religious tradition revealed the truth, so he wove together insights from Eastern Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, American Transcendentalism and folklore from his native Lebanon.

Nowadays we are fairly free to choose our own Path but (almost) a hundred years ago it was not as easy... To be that open minded and shining so bright... it can't have been an easy path for Gibran to walk. I'm in awe of the depth of his spirit and his knowledge, which he didn't get surfin' the web! ;) I think I read a lot but this man must have read more than I can even begin to imagine!

Read this and read it again...! The words become more beautiful and more radiant each time I read them...

I've marked in bold the passages that touch me the most...
"My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to love what the people abhor and to show good will toward the one they hate. It showed me that Love is a property not of the lover but of the beloved. Before my Soul taught me, Love was for me a delicate thread stretched between two adjacent pegs, but now it has been transformed into a halo; its first is its last, and its last is its first. It encompasses every being, slowly expanding to embrace all that ever will be.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to find the beauty concealed in a face, a color, a complexion, and to gaze intently at what the people think ugly, until it shows me its comeliness. Before my Soul taught me, I saw beauty as quivering flames between pillars of smoke; but it faded and I no longer see anything but the kindling that bursts into flame.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to listen to the voices not produced by tongues, nor shouted from throats. Before my Soul taught me, my ears were weary and ailing, and I was conscious only of uproar and discord. Now I sip at silence and listen to its inwardness that chants songs of the eons, reciting praises of the sky, announcing the mysteries of the Unseen.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to drink wat has not been squeezed or poured into cups, what is not raised by the hands nor touched by the lips. Before my Soul taught me, my thirst was a faint spark in a mound of ash, which I would quench with water from a pool or with a sip of freshly squeezed juice. Now, however, my yearning is my cup, my burning thirst is my drink, and my solitude is my intoxication; I do not and shall not quench my thirst. But in this burning that is never extinguished is a joy that never wanes.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to touch what has never taken corporeal form or crystallized. It made me understand that touching something is half the task of comprehending it, and that what we grasp therein is part of what we desire from it. Before my Soul taught me, I contented myself with heat when cold, and with cold when hot, and with either if I was listless. But now my once-cramped sense of touch is scattered everywhere, having metamorphosed into a fine mist that penetrates everything that appears from Being, so as to mingle with what has remained hidden from it.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to smell the fragrances that neither aromatic herb nor incense has diffused abroad. Before my Soul taught me, whenever I craved a scent I sought it in gardens or in perfume bottles or censers. But now I have begun to smell what does not burn or spill, and I fill my chest with pure breaths that have never passed through a garden in this world and have never been carried aloft by a breeze belonging to this sky.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to say, "Here I am!" when the unknown and the perilous call me. Before my Soul taught me, I refused to arise save for the voice of a caller I recognized, and I never fared upon any ways save those I had tried and found easy. Now the known has become my mount, which I ride toward the unknown, and the level plain has become my stairs, whose steps I ascend to put myself in jeopardy.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me not to measure time by saying, "It was yesterday, and will be tomorrow." Before my Soul taught me, I imagined the past as an era not to be met with, and the future as an age that I would never witness. But now I know that in the brief moment of the present, all time exists, including everything that is in time - all that is eagerly anticipated, achieved, or realized.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me not to define a place by saying 'here' or 'there'. Before my Soul taught me, I thought that when I was in any place on the earth I was remote from every other spot. But now I have learned that the place where I subsist is all places, and the space I occupy is all intervals.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me to stay up late while the inhabitants of the quarter slumber, and to sleep while they are awake. Before my Soul taught me, I never experienced their dreams while unconscious, and they never shared my dreams in their heedlessness. But now I only swim, arms fluttering, in my sleep with them as my companions, and they do not soar in their dreams save that I rejoice in their liberation.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me never to delight in praise or to be distressed by reproach. Before my Soul taught me, I doubted the value of my accomplishments until the passing days sent someone who would extol or disparage them. But now I know that trees blossom in the spring and give their fruits in the summer without any desire for accolades. And they scatter their leaves abroad in the fall and denude themselves in the winter without fear of reproof.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me and demonstrating to me that I am not exalted over the panhandler nor less than the mighty. Before my Soul taught me, I thought people consisted of two types: the weak, whom I pitied and disregarded, and the powerful, whom I followed or against I rebelled. Now, I have discovered that I was formed as one individual from the same substance from which all human beings were created. I am made up of the same elements as they are, and my pattern is theirs. My struggles are theirs, and my path is theirs. If they do wrong, I am culpable, and if they perform a good deed, I am proud of their act. If they arise, I arise with them, and if they remain seated, so do I.

My Soul gave me good counsel, teaching me that the lamp which I carry does not belong to me, and the song that I sing was not generated from within me. Even if I walk with light, I am not the light; and if I am a taut-stringed lute, I am not the lute player.

My Soul gave me good counsel, my friend, and taught me. Your Soul, too, has given you good counsel, and taught you. You and I are similar and alike, and the only difference between us is that I speak of what is within me and my speech is somewhat insistent, whereas you conceal what is within you, and from your restraint shines forth the face of virtue."

Enjoying my holiday,
xx

Desiderata

A while back I, by 'chance' ;) , came across this poem by Max Ehrmann. As a signature on a forum I visit someone had quoted "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." and being a Lover of Words that I am I just had to find out Who had written these Beautiful Words. My search led me to Max Ehrmann and 'Desiderata' and these words are...the Truth! :) ...or at least from the perspective I have on Life and my Journey. ;) Be kind, listen, be (gentle with) yourself, nurture your spirit, Love, don't fear old age or what Life brings you...it's a beautiful world and you deserve happiness...

Me finding Max's words (that's right, we're on first name basis! ;)) led me to recieve more beautiful words by him, this time from my bosom buddy N! ♥
Funny thing about 'Chance' isn't it...it always happens right when you need it...! Hmmm... ;)

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
by Max Ehrmann
The Universe is unfolding as it should,

Praying

I don't pray. :) At least not in any sense of the word that I've experienced... I don't bow my head or clasp my hands, I don't dance, kneel or do spells...

I don't know...it's hard when my spirituality is something that has grown on "it's own" and where I don't have a clear definition on What/Who I believe in. I do believe in the power of positive thinking (both for myself and for others) and I do send many thoughts that think/believe as "charged" - something I guess a more religious person than myself would possibly call praying, but I don't have a specific routine/ritual to go with it. Because surely that's one of the 'requirements' for praying, a ritual of some sort? I 'just' do 'thought-sending'. ;) Anyway... I'm rambling...! :) If it's isn't a nonsense warning it'll be an rambling one! ;)

I wish I could/did pray more, because words mean so much to me and on occasion I come across (or receive! ;)) a prayer that I read over and over again, feeling it, being strengthened by it... Other times I find words that say the things I feel in my heart, that speak the words of my soul and just now I found one of those kinds of prayers so tonight I'll go to bed with my spirit singing these words...

"May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power, and may people think of befriending one another."
~ The Buddha

Good night,
Sweet Dreams,
- still not praying...!