Sometimes...

Sometimes I wonder... What will it be like when ScabbyHouse is sold, all the tidying and anxiety over what-will-come-next is over, when the kiddies and I have our own place, have settled into our routines...? What then?? Will Life finally catch up with me and knock me off my feet or is there actually such a thing as 'smooth sailing'...?

I'm...I wanna write scared or worried (but I'm not!) ... I'm concerned (?) that there isn't such a place of Peace. That "struggle" is my constant companion... And I don't mean not in a Martyr kind of way but in a I-can't-stop-myself-from-growing kinda way and...

Is there (can there be) Growth 

without some kind of Struggle...?? 

The prospect above is both scary and intriguing. What else is out there...?? Yet, my whole Being is crying out for Peace, smooth sailing...! But.. .if I get to that place of Peace... Will "reality" hit me? Knock me over?? Will I crumble? Be the Needy one...? :\

Pondering,