"I have walked that long road to freedom.
I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come.
But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended."
I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come.
But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended."
Let's immediately be clear on one thing. I do not compare my journey to the one of Mr. Mandela's but his words fit my mindset today, which I hope you know is only one version of a two-sided coin. :)
You who have followed me for a while are by now somewhat aware of my ponderings on the what/where/how's of Life... I've tried to put one foot in front of the other, to move forward, yet...somehow I've still managed to linger this state of limbo for reasons yet unknown...
Perhaps I needed some rest, or maybe I needed to get even more ... before I could muster the energy required to actually start inching my way forward again...? Maybe I just needed a little bit more Time to make certain of where I was heading...? Probably all of the above.
What I have come up with is this, that the cliche of it's not you, it's me has some truth to it... At some point it stops being about 'the other' or the 'us' and it ends up being about 'me'...Simply because there can't be an 'us' without, at least two, 'me' and one 'me' cannot care for the other 'me' if he or she is lost...
For sure I know that all the love in the world that you have for that other isn't enough to heal him/her, because that healing has to come from within. My love might sooth and for a while relieve of pain but after some time, sometimes after a long time, it is clear that no amount of love can find the 'me' that is lost and all that the love projected, that in a healthy relationship should have been mirrored back, has been desperately consumed to fill that hole within and has been completely ineffective in the search for Self that only he, on his own, can find. One 'me' can't do the loving an nurturing of two... That's my conclusion...
I've promised to lead by example and I have failed, but I'm going to keep trying, I'm going to find a way, my way...
I'm moving again.
Love&Light,
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