Alone - forever?

Do (some) people only get a certain amount of company...? And when its used up there is no more companionship for those people...?
And they will need to embrace solitude and find contentment in the company of their children, if they have any, and/or other family members...?

Impossible...!?

Lately I've been trying my best to settle, settle in me, settle in singledom, settle with Loneliness (dispite not (ever) being alone) ...trying to ground myself in me. Trying to listen inwards for answers for guidance, for direction... Doing my best to breathe.

All it has given me is the realisation that I. Don't. Want To. Loneliness sucks when it hasn't been chosen, loneliness and I will not be in good terms until that happen, until I choose it - and I don't or won't! Not now.

Also ...I've done a mindless, senseless, stupid, naïve and ridiculous thing. I've gotten myself tangled up in something so completely impossible. It kind of freaks me out ...about as much as I love it. I love how it fills me and lightens up my day.

But.
It.
Is.
Impossible.

Not even sure it's for real...

So what do I do?? Do I revel in the glory of it 'til I've ended up breaking my own heart? Or do I do the "sensible" thing and end "it" ...whatever this thing is...??
...not sure I can. I want it, this, him too much.

I do.

 



Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe (June 1, 1926 – August 5, 1962), born Norma Jeane Mortenson, but baptized Norma Jeane Baker, was an American actress, singer and model.

An amazing, intriguing woman, more clever than she was ever given credit for... here's a few of her insightful quotes.


"It's far better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone — so far."

"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no-one but yourself, and sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together."