Daring to see and feel...!

Finally, finally, finally I've gotten myself a laptop! It's on loan to me from my brother-in-law so that I can specify what I like/don't like about his one so that he'll be able to sort me out with just the right one for me! :) :) :)

...at the mo though I'm on my sisters computer... ;) Me and kiddies are house-sitting her home whilst she and her family are away. It's a winwin situation as it give me time to hang out with my Gothenburg friends I don't get to see too often. :)

Oh my word...how I have missed this! Having the time to blog about a topic that has been brewing within and not feeling stressed about having the time it'll take me to get it written. True bliss! :)

I wanna return to this me-letting-my-hear-lead-the-way-topic I've been touching but not really having time to write about.

Quite quickly after the long-awaited move to BlueHouse I was somewhat concerned about the skipping of my heart... It was nice to feel it but its long inactivity made me uncomfortable and sometimes the skipping, or unexpected rush, would cause me actual, physical, pain... Please be gentle was my quiet prayer. Go slow...! Take your time. Let me rest. Yet it headed none of my pleas and kept on its previous behaviour.

I was like a teenager again with rushing emotions, I was high and low and blushing and embarrased and angry...! I whinged and moaned about it to my awesome friends and at one point, texting with my most brilliant "sister" A. she sent me a message saying

"Yes hun, it's scary to be alive. But it's time now..."

and I was floored by how right she was...! I realised that the discomfort a skipping (alive!) heart gave me was in fact managable beacause of the joy and rush that a beating heart brings...!

I realised also that I am not a teenager again (which I for a moment feared I was turning into!)! I am in fact very grown up, in control of my Life, of my choices and I choose to Feel and I allow myself to See and believe myself worthy of good things and good things have been coming my way. :)

It's awesome... I feel...aligned (things make sense) like I've not felt before... Like my head and heart are catching up on what my Soul has been screaming for a long time...and I believe. It's so cool! :D

 In the Light,